Thank you to all of you who said a prayer for me yesterday. I had a better first day at work than I thought I would. It was really slow, and all of my coworkers are great. I am glad to be a part of that team of women. I didn't run into many people yesterday, so I avoided most of the questions that I was dreading. But, there was one. I knew this question would come up at some point-but I didn't know how to respond. Another nurse and I were starting an IV on a patient when the mother asked "do ya'll have any children?" I just stumbled on my words and then shook my head "no". I wanted to say yes, but then I knew she would ask me "how old?" I felt bad about it as soon as I did it. I DO have a daughter- a beautiful daughter that I am so proud of. I have a daughter that I love and miss so much. I didn't know how to respond for two reasons. Reason number one- I don't want to cry in front of people. Reason number two- I don't want to make people feel bad for asking a simple question. But, I know that this isn't how I want to answer this question now. Ella is my daughter and I can't deny her, and I don't want to. I should have said "I have a daughter in Heaven." I thought about as soon as I had shook my head no, but it was done. The next time I am asked this, I will do what I should have done yesterday.
I love you Ella, and I am so proud to be your mom!
When Your Child Asks If Death Is Painful...
1 year ago