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Ella slideshow

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Everything makes me think of Ella!

It is so strange how everything I think of relates to Ella. I can being doing something so random, and it somehow connects to Ella. This evening, my husband and I went to eat at a Japanese restaurant in town that we eat at often. As I was waiting to order, I was thinking the last time we ate here, Ella was with us. Before I was pregnant, I would order tuna. Then when I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't order tuna anymore. I didn't want to order tuna today, and the thought that I could have it if I wanted it just made me sad. That sounds so crazy, but I find myself always thinking stuff like this. I came home and got my shower, put my pajama's on and the first thing I thought was, I haven't worn this since Ella was born. These are old p.j's that I wore many times before I was pregnant-but now they make me think back to being pregnant with Ella. I got in the car yesterday and drove to town. It was the first time I have driven since my c-section. I was thinking, it is weird driving without my big belly in the way-and wishing that Ella was in the back in her carseat. And the list goes on and on...everything relates to Ella.

2 comments:

  1. It's not crazy to think those things. I talked to a friends father yesterday, he told me that he lost a baby shortly after he was born over 20 years ago. His younger son was married last weekend, he could picture the son they lost standing between his other 2 sons.

    Our babies will always be there in our memories, I'm sure not in everything we do but it will hit us at different times.

    I wish you could have her in the back of your car too! It's not fair but somehow we will all make it through this :( Keeping you in my prayers!

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  2. I don't think it is crazy at all. I have had so many moments that remind me of Lilly. *hug*

    love and prayers
    elena

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