So, today is Memorial Day. Today Ella would also be three weeks old if she were still here with us. I can't believe it has been 3 weeks. It is so strange, sometimes I think about her birthday and it feels like moments ago. Other times, that day seems like forever ago. I was just looking through her pictures and remembering that day. I am so scared that I will forget things or details as time goes on-and I NEVER want to forget. I want to always remember her perfect big hands and feet. I always want to remember the sweetest softest skin ever. I love remembering her precious big lips. I know I have talked about her lips over and over, but I love them so much! I remember Joel (my brother-in-law) saying her lips looked like Agelina Jolie's when he first saw her in the hospital. I will always remember those long legs and chubby little thighs. I will always remember the sweetest sound she made after her first feeding, and when she squeezed my finger with her little hand after that feeding. I will always remember her first wet diaper that her Daddy asked to change (and how he didn't know what to do). We changed it together. I will always remember the fine brown hair around the back of her head and her cute little sideburns (she got those from me). I guess I shouldn't worry about forgetting the details...forgetting Ella will never happen.
I am going to my cousins this afternoon. We are going to have a bbq for Memeorial Day. I wish that Ella was here and she was going with us today more than anything, but she will be there in our memories and in our hearts!
Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break,
But all in vain.
To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of ones's heart.
The years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never.
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together.
I love You Ella, I miss you so much!
When Your Child Asks If Death Is Painful...
1 year ago