Another week has gone by since my angel was born. This week has been a long one. It seems like pregnant women are always talking about how they feel like time goes so slow when they are pregant. How they feel like their due date will never come. I remember feeling like that right after we got the diagnosis of anencephaly at 17 weeks. I didn't know how I would make through the next 5 to six months being pregnant and knowing that my baby would die. I was ready for it to be over. But that feeling only lasted a couple of weeks. Then, Ella started moving all around...and I could feel her. It was the most awesome feeling and everything changed. I loved carrying her and feeling like she was happy in my womb. That is when I started wishing I could just stay pregnant, and keep her with me. After I wanted it to slow down, time started to fly. I still can't believe it is all over. I can't beleive that I have already had Ella, and she has already gone to Heaven. Sometimes it feels like the last couple of weeks have been a dream. Now, time is creeping by again. But I know that it isn't really over. I know that I am still Ella's mommy and I will see her again some day.
On a very good note, my husband was baptized yesterday. He has been a Christian for a little over a year, but had never been baptized or joined the church. Going through all of this with Ella has brought us closer together, and closer to God. So, he decided to join the church and get baptized. I know that Ella had something to do with this...and that she is so proud of her Daddy!
I love you and miss you Ella!
Back to Hope
7 months ago