Today

...is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  I had never heard of this until a month or so ago, which means that most people who haven't expreienced the loss of a pregnancy or the loss of a baby probably haven't heard of it either.
     I don't need a day to remind me to remember  Ella.  I think about her all of the time.  But, I do think it is important to raise awaresness that there are so many people who have been through the loss of a child- and that is definitely the hardest thing I have been through in my life. I have met so many mom's who have been through similar situations online, and talking to them has helped me so much.  There are days when I feel like no one gets it, and then I will log onto the computer and read someones blog and see that there are other people feeling the same way right now.  I wish that no one ever had to feel this.  But, connecting with other ladies going through the same situation has given me so much comfort and made me feel not so alone. 
     It makes me sad that people going through an infant loss years ago probably didn't have anyone to talk to who was going through something similar.  I know that my mom was one of these people.  She lost my sister, Chandra, when she was 11 months old.   Chandra was the oldest, and that was before I was born.   I know that it had to be so hard for my mom-and I hate that she had to experience that.  My mom is always there for me when I need her and has been here throughout all of this last year.  Thank you mama- I love you!
     So, today I will be thinking about Ella.  I will be thinking about Chandra.  I will be thinking about all the babies who I have come to know through their mommies this year.

Thank you Shannon for making this pumpkin for Ella!!  I love it!


I love you Ella!!  I miss you so much!