I have always struggled with big decisions in my life. Well, except for one. I never considered the decision to terminate my pregnancy when Ella was diagnosed with anencephaly. I just knew that that wasn't an an option for me from the beginning. (I am just adding this because I don't want anyone to think that is one of the decisions I am talking about.) That is the one decision in my life that I had complete peace about and never questioned. I was so blessed to have my sweet baby for the time that I did.
Well, I am facing some BIG life changing decisions right now. I have always been a worrier, and when I have to make a decision I always question it and think "but what if?" I am not going over all of the decisions right now, because I really don't feel like I need to put all of my business out there right now. But, I am really struggling with them. I have made lists in my head of pros and cons. I have talked to Jon about it so much his ears are probably hurting, and he is supportive either way. I am praying that God will show me what to do with these big decisions. I wish I would see a sign or someone would just say "This is what you need to do!" I am so scared I am going to make the wrong decision and regret it later. Please, if you think of it, say a prayer that God will show me where I need to go and that I will see it!
I love you Ella! I miss you baby girl!
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9 months ago