I am posting this a few days early, because I won't be here to post it on our anniversary. September the 16th will be our four year anniversary. I can't believe it has been four years since I married my best friend! I am so blessed to have such an awesome man to spend my life with.
Four years ago, we had no idea of the road ahead of us when we made our vows to each other. I really know what those vows we made to each other mean now, and how important they are. We experienced the best and the worst this past year. The best-having Ella, holding her in our arms, and becoming a family. The worst was of course losing her. I have to say that Jon was there for me 100% through all of it. I got to see a new side of him this year that made me fall more in love with him than ever. I got to see him as a wonderful loving Dad and the most supportive husband I could dream of.
We are going on a cruise for our anniversary. We are leaving from Miami and cruising to Key West and Cozumel (if Igor doesn't turn into a hurricane and change that). We have gone on two cruises before and enjoyed them both so much. The last one was seven years ago-so it has been awhile. I am excited to spend the week on the ocean with my husband! I am blessed to have a partner that I enjoy being with so much. I know that we will have a good time together. That being said, there is still that part of me that feels like screaming "this isn't how it should be!" This isn't what Jon and I should be doing four months after the birth of our daughter. It isn't what we planned. I guess that this feeling will always be there, and I accept that. I actually don't want that to go away. I know that Jon feels the same way.
But, I am going to enjoy my time with my husband...I know that is what Ella would want.
I love you Jon! I am so lucky to be your wife.
I love you Ella! You brought mommy and daddy closer than ever...we miss you so much!
We found out that we were pregnant with our first child on August 31, 2009. We were nervous, but very excited. We spent the next few months planning for our future. We knew that our lives would be changed forever when our baby was born. We just never thought it would be changed in this way. On November 25th, we went for our first ultrasound. We were so excited to find out if we were having a boy or a girl (we both felt like it was a girl). Instead of finding out the sex, we found out that our baby had anencephaly. Anencephaly is a fatal neural tube defect in which the part of the tube that forms into the skull and portion of the brain doesn't close. It was the worst day of our lives. We chose to carry our baby to term. We found out at another ultrasound the next week that we were having a girl. We named her Ella Christine. Ella means "bright light", and I can't think of a more perfect name. God blessed us with 20 hours with her after she was born, and she changed our lives forever. I never thought I would want to blog, but now all we want to do is talk about our baby girl.