Ella slideshow

Monday, October 10, 2011

Fall again

     It is fall again.  This was always one of my most favorite times of the year.  But now, when the air changes to cooler and wind starts blowing, my mood seems to change some too.  The new crisp air and the cloudy days bring me straight back to fall two years ago, and make me think so much of Ella.  That was the time when life changed forever and we went from so excited to devastated in an instant.  It boggles my mind that was almost two years ago. The last two days have been the cloudy cool days- the same exact way I remember the weather the day we found out about the anencephaly.  I guess those feelings will always come back with the change of the season.
      Today was my growth ultrasound.  I love seeing Eli again, but I still have some anxiety everytime we go in for an ultrasound.  I found out about a month ago that I have gestational diabetes and have since started insulin.  We were worried that he may be too big, but he is actually measuring on the smaller side.  He is now 3lbs 15oz.  He has hair:)  He gave us a smile.  I think he knew that we needed to see that today.  It melted my heart.  We scheduled the c-section today.  I can't believe if all goes as planned, we will meet our little man in seven weeks.

I love you Ella!  I miss you so much.

I love you Eli!  Can't wait to meet you.



  1. I know what you mean about the season and "type of day" bringing back memories. I think sometimes when we have such a painful memory tied to something specific it will always bring it back.

    The day that I got the phone call that our IVF failed I was painting my kitchen..... I havent painted since. I just dont want to pick up that brush and cry the tears that I know will come.


  2. Hugs Sweetie! It is hard to believe we are coming up on 2 year milestones. This week is 2 years since we found out we were pregnant with Karinne. Eli sure gave you an adorable photo there!

  3. I just wrote on Holly's blog how the change of seasons always seem to affect me. Sorry to hear about the gestational diabetes. Your little Eli's smile made me smile so big, I cannot wait to see pictures of you holding your sweet baby!

  4. Ella is beautiful. And how exciting about Eli. I wish you all the best.